


High Hopes

by lukehoodings



Category: 5SOS, cake 5sos - Fandom, cake hoodings - Fandom
Genre: M/M, this is so ugly nd long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 22:16:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3357248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukehoodings/pseuds/lukehoodings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted blond, yellow hair and blue eyes that tore him apart the second he laid his eyes on them. He wanted pale skin and long, pretty legs wrapped around his waist. He wanted thin, pink lips on his neck and red cheeks pressed up against his chest. He wanted cold, soft hands interwined with his and he wanted delicate, gentle fingers tracing the figure of his jaw, running them through his hair. So he ran, ran and ran and texted his lover that he changed his mind. That he wanted him, that he always wanted him. That that boy meant nothing to him because it is true. He was nothing; just a dust on the sidewalk. But Luke, oh beautiful Luke. That boy was just a little bug, and Luke was a whole garden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	High Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off of the video and song High Hopes by Kodaline.  
> also, this is my first cake fanfic ever and i wrote it at like 2am so i hope u guys like it yay!  
> i'd appreciate kudos and comments v much.

He glances at the crowd for a briefly second; all those faces filled with worry and disappointment, annoyance, sadness, worry. He can't help but burst into tears, sobs erupting from his mouth and hiccups replacing the cold, uncomfortable silence. The tears come out wet and salty and he can taste them himself. He can taste the sadness and the guilt, the heartbreak and all those feelings that he had bottled up for these past months. He looks at the boy standing infront of him with a saddened expression on his features. Brown hair and electric green-ish eyes that reminded him somehow of his green lava lamp his dad bought him when he was 10 years old. He hated that lamp. His creamy body covered by a black tux that fitted him perfectly. He was beautiful really, but he's not what he wanted. He wanted blond, yellow hair and blue eyes that tore him apart the second he laid his eyes on them. He wanted pale skin and long, pretty legs wrapped around his waist. He wanted thin, pink lips on his neck and red cheeks pressed up against his chest. He wanted cold, soft hands interwined with his and he wanted delicate, gentle fingers tracing the figure of his jaw, running them through his hair. So he ran, ran and ran and texted his lover that he changed his mind. That he wanted him, that he always wanted him. That that boy meant nothing to him because it is true. He was nothing; just a dust on the sidewalk. But Luke, oh beautiful Luke. That boy was just a little bug, and Luke was a whole garden. He loved Jake, he did. Did. But all the love faded away. It just happens. Everything fades away and the feelings go and Calum does not look at Jake with shiny, bright eyes anymore. Instead he looks at him almost forcefully, because he'd rather be looking up at Luke's blue eyes that hold a whole constellation falling into place. Luke's eyes are like the sea; Calum drowns everyday. So now he is running towards Luke and he can hear footsteps behind him but he doesn't stop. He's worried, though. Worried that Luke doesn't want him anymore, that he won't be waiting there for him. That his love for Calum faded away as Calum's love for Jake. But Luke's there waiting for him and Calum's heart skips a beat when he sees him. And Calum could hug him and crush him and kiss him and devour him whole because Luke's everything he has ever wanted but he can't because Jake is following closely behind so he'll hug him and crush him and kiss him and devour him whole later. He reaches for the passenger door and now, they're driving away from Calum's worse nightmare until it's just Calum and Luke, like it's always supposed to be. The car ride was silent. No words, just Luke's actions that make Calum know that it's okay; That they're okay. Calum falls asleep to the thought of waking every morning to Luke's pretty face from now on.

~

Luke shakes Calum softly, his fingers touching Caum's shoulder gently. They arrived. Luke's house is small and cozy and that's why Calum likes it. Because it's small and cozy and because Luke's smell lingers in the atmosphere and Calum wants to suffocate in Luke's cologne. They walk to the familiar, messy kitchen Calum's learn to love and Luke pulls out a wooden chair for Calum for him to sit down and places a bag with clothes he can borrow on the wooden table. Calum thanks him with a warm smile and goes to the bathroom to change and while Calum's away Luke makes both of them a cup of coffee but Luke's breath hitches and almost drops the cups when he sees Calum, because he is wearing his clothes and he looks beautiful.They sit in silence while drinking the coffee but Luke's eyes are saying everything Calum's wanted to hear all this time. So Calum smiles and drinks the coffee Luke made for him and hopes that Luke will love him forever because there's no doubt in his mind that his heart will never ever stop beating for Luke. And after awhile the silence breaks."I make art now." Luke whispers softly. Calum almost didnt hear him but he does and he's almost jumping up and down but just looks at Luke with big puppy eyes instead and Luke curses because can say no to that. So Luke is leading Calum to his 'art room'' and Calum is fascinated the minute he stepped into the room because wow. Everything is so beautiful and amazing and there's books everywhere and canvas hanging on the walls and colorful paint all over the floor and walls and Calum wants to know everything about Luke's art. Who and what inspired it. Calum is looking at awe at the canvas in front of him and he touches them and can't help but feel Luke's warm skin on the paint. So he keeps touching and touching and tracing his fingers because this is who Luke is now and Calum wants to feel it all. Luke is looking at him from behind and he knows what Calum is thinking and just chuckles a little bit to himself because Calum is Luke now. He could take Calum to millions of Art Museums but Luke's eyes will always find their way to Calum because after all, Calum is the most beautiful and only work of art. And then Calum turns to look at him with those eyes that can tear Luke apart in a matter of seconds. Luke's blue eyes collapse with brown ones and everything feels just right and Luke hopes that Calum looks at him like that everyday.

~

It's night now and Calum and Luke are on bed, the beats of their hearts matching and the sound of their breaths filling the air. Their bodies covered by a white blanket and their legs tangled underneath. Luke's arm is tight and warm against Calum's waist and Cal loves it. Luke's holding Cal so tight, because he's too afraid he'll loose him again. Too afraid he'll slip through his fingertips and never meet those chocolate, brown eyes again. Too afraid Cal's mouth will no longer be on the crook of his neck and too afraid his hands will no longer touch his. But Calum's not leaving Luke never again because Luke is everything and everyone he needs. Luke's so much more and he never wants to get away - never wants Luke to let him go. So he presses his back against Luke's chest and hopes that Luke holds him like that every night.

~

"Hey!" Luke's says when a dirty, smelly sock hit his head softly. Calum holds back a laugh and puts his combat boots over the now, clean socks. He stands up and puts a fluffy, brown sweater on that matches his eyes. Luke tries not to stare. And Luke cant help but notice the strange smell coming from Calum's sock, but he ignores it anyways and instead enjoys the smell and inhales it deeply, thinking that he could get used to it. And Luke hopes that Calum's feet dont ever stop smelling like that because it seems that it is, now, Luke's favorite smell. It was a cold day, the wind blowing a little bit too rough but that was okay. They enter the car with a smile on their lips. They drive around for awhile; the whole ride filled with laughs and smiles and unnecessaries but sweets and fonds I love you's. Calum's hand never leaves Luke's and Luke is trying so hard to not cry because he just loves Calum so much. Calum is looking at the trees passing by with the window all the way down, the air hitting Calum's face softly and making his hair a bit messy. Luke's looking ahead to the road but he still glances at Calum from time to time because Luke never not wants to look at Calum. And while they drive their way down to the beach, Luke hopes that Calum's hand never stops touching his. They arrive a couple of minutes later to their destination. It's night but Calum can still see Luke's blue eyes and the way they shine bright under the moonlight and he cant help but want to crawl inside those eyes, so nobody could catch him. Calum's hand grabs Luke's almost inmediately and pulls him to the shore; they took their shoes off and step into the water. The night keeps getting colder and colder though and he realizes that his big sweater isnt enough anymore. The water starts to feel very cold against Calum's feet but Luke's hand interwined with Calum makes him feel all warm inside. And he hopes that Luke never stops being the warm radiating from Calum's body. He hopes that Luke will always be his sunshine, hopes that Luke's touch stays with him for a long time. Calum kisses Luke.

~

"I really love you." He said. His cheek on Luke's shoulder and Luke's chin on top of Calum's. Their arms wrapped around eachtohers bodies, dancing to the soft beat of the song that plays on the stereo. It was moments like this that Calum wanted to remember forever. Calum wanted to remember every single memory he has created and every moment he has lived with Luke. He can feel Luke's lips forming into a smile. "I really love you too, Calum." And Calum's heart is beating faster and faster and he's afraid that Luke may be hearing how his heart is thumping and Calum thinks that his heart may be popping out of his chest at any minute. So he tries to steady his breathing and go back to normal but he's never normal when Luke's around. Because Luke is beautiful and everytime he looks at Calum, Calum's breath gets caught up in his throat and suddenly he forgets how to breathe because Luke is looking at him like he's the most beautiful thing in the world when actually, the most beautiful thing is Luke. And Calum hopes that Luke is aware that he's the only thing that matters to him. Hopes that he knows that Calum would bleed himself dry. For him.

~

"Calum!" Luke giggles and giggles and giggles. Calum stops doing what he's doing for a moment and he stares at Luke. He stares at him and his head is spinning and he's having trouble breathing again because Luke is laughing and giggling and thinks Luke's laugh is a blessing sent from above. He listens to Luke's giggles on his mind and the sounds lingers for a moment on his brain before it stars fading away and Calum needs to hear more and more and more of it. So he makes everything possible to make Luke's mouth open and let the beautiful, poetic sound that erupts from inside of it. He sees every types of flowers coming out of Luke's mouth and floating in the air everytime Luke laughs and he kind of hopes that Luke's laugh could be something he can hold and grab and put in a jar and listen to it any day he wants to, touch it any day he wants to and feel Luke's vibrations on the tip of his fingers. So he makes a mental note to make Luke smile and laugh all he can and hopes that Luke never stops laughing because a bullet on his chest would hurt less than never hearing Luke's laugh again. And when Calum doesn't hear Luke's giggles anymore, it's when he notices that his hopes are now, real. He doesn't feels it at first but then he's falling to the ground and there's this hole on his chest and he swears to god the world stopped spinning but his head hasn't. He can't really see anything apart from a man looking through him like glass with those green eyes that remind him of a lava lamp he had when he was 10 years old and he feels so stupid and scared and like such a fu- but before his thoughts could continue rambling his eyes flicker to Luke who is now on the floor as well; choking on his own blood with bloody-shot eyes. And even though Luke's laying in a pool of blood, he still looks beautiful because there isn't one single moment where Calum doesn't thinks Luke is beautiful. And Calum needs to grabs Luke's hand because if this is the end - to die by Luke's side would be such a heavenly way to die. So now, they're beside each other with their hands locked and Calum hopes that he never had hope in the first place. So he slowly drifts away from all the pain and imagines himself crawling into Luke's eyes, like he always wanted to.

~

Luke wakes up with an unbearable pain on his chest that shoots through his whole body. His eyes are still bloody-shot and his head won't stop spinning. He takes in his surroundings; the white sheets remind him of how he used to tug Calum into bed when he had a headache and always make sure to leave hot chocolate for Calum on the bed-side table. The bright lights blinding him reminds him of Calum's lamp on his room and how he used to turn it off when he started kissing down Luke's neck. But the nurse making the bed beside his takes his breath away and he's completely sure he's not breathing anymore. She gives him an apologetic, sad little smile and Luke wants to puke everything inside him until there's nothing left anymore. Every single little thing reminds him of Calum and he has to remind himself to not cry. To not cry because Luke will fall and Calum will not be there to catch him. Calum will not be there to pick up all the shattered pieces from the floor and fix him. So he just sinks down into his bed and stares at the white ceiling and hopes that Calum is watching him from wherever he is. Luke gets out of bed minutes later ignoring the pain that shoots over all his body and goes to the back of the room, grabs a chair from the corner and sets it in front of the big, large crystal window and sits down. He watches how the birds fly around and he watches how the wind blows the trees' leafs and branches. He sees Calum's soft hair in the flowers, he sees Calum's laugh floating through the air; the sound ringing in his ears. He seems Calum's fingertips in the rocks around the little pond there's by some tree. He see's Calum's tongue in the water and he sees Calum's brown eyes in the trees' roots. But now he thinks he's gone crazy because he's seeing Calum's reflection in the big crystal window and he does not turn around. He does not turn around because he knows it's just a fidget of his lame imagination but Calum looks so beautiful and real and he wants to touch him but he can't. He can't because Calum is not there and he won't turn around because his face will just turn into a big deep frown and his eyes will water and he'll just stare at the moon and cry and scream Calum's name and wonder why. So he hopes that when he gets home, he finds the right pills so he can go see Calum and so he can go grab his hand and never let him go again. But then Calum's reflection moves and he places his hand on the younger boy's shoulder and Luke's heart skips a beat. Calum's head buries into the right side of Luke's neck and Luke's had never been so happy to see Calum. He turns around to look up at him and Calum looks tired and there's some purple bags under his eyes and his hair is sticking in every direction but he looks beautiful - even when he's wearing that ugly white clothes. Calum shoots Luke a warm smile; that smile that shows his teeth and that makes Calum's crinkles appear and Luke wants to die. He grabs Calum's hand and turns around and stares at their reflection and while Calum whispers a quiet 'I love you.' in his ear and kisses right behind his earlobe softly, he hopes that Calum's reflection never fades from his heart. And he hopes that Calum knows how beautiful and lovely he is to him because he is - after all - the most wonderful work of art he has ever laid his eyes on. And he hopes that he gets to spend all his life with Calum. Sure, forever is a long time but like that song says, he wouldn't mind spending it by Calum's side.


End file.
